Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Trien Then and Now

This is probably my favorite picture of Trien. It was taken on the beach in Phuket, about a week or so after our second pregnancy misfire. We went there during a school holiday, just to get away, and start the healing process.

I love her smile. Trien is very pretty when she smiles. She has one of those endearing smiles that make you feel good when you see it. When she smiles it's like she is sharing the purest essence of herself with you. It was good to get on the beach in Phuket and see this smile, after what we had been through in the previous months. It was good to smile myself.

I had to capture that smile, just the way it is, so when she wasn't ready, I took this picture. She gave me an, "Oh, Honey, what did you do that for?", after I took it. After she saw the picture, she liked it too.

This next picture is the latest picture I have of her. This is her most recent "Mommy Pic". We are not on the beach in Phuket, but walking to the Circus Ground hawker stalls for our usual Saturday roti canai breakfast. We were passing by the apartment building where all the dobi shops are located on the ground floor when I took this shot. You can see one of the dobi's hanging out the laundry in the background.

Again, I got another, "Oh Honey", response when I took this. She wanted me to delete this picture when she saw it.

The reason?

"I look sooo fat! Look at my face!"

Yes, she has changed physically, but her smile is still the same.

Still, I Love her more now than ever before. The physical changes that she worries so much about- they don't matter to me. Sure, it's harder to hug her and be affectionate, but that means I just have to be more creative when I do so.
While she looks in the mirror and sees the added weight, the pimples, the dark spots, and all the tiny things that don't bother me, all I see is the beauty of the woman I Love, about to have our child.

That, and the smile I Love so much.

Sure, her smile has changed, because she has changed, and I'm not talking physically. As our relationship has matured and grown, so has her smile. It has taken on a deeper meaning to me, and worked it's way deeper into my Soul.

Her smile will always be a a part of me., and has given me something missing before. It has revitalized me, and brought me alive in a new way.

Now that we are going to be parents, I can't wait to see what our daughter's smile.
I hope she has her mother's smile.

Then I will be doubly blessed!