Monday, August 13, 2007

The Worst Reviewed Film Ever

I saw this film after my house mate in Korea, Tony rented the video. Tony was a kid just out of college, and even he couldn't sit through more than a few minutes of this without screaming and tearing out his hair. Even though it didn't cost me a cent to watch it, I still wanted my money back! You can't even call this a film by any stretch of the imagination. As a matter of fact, I don't have the slightest idea what you would call it. You can call it the greatest affront to western culture ever created, and no one would bother to argue with you.

This one is really, truly, horribly bad. There is not one redeeming feature or quality to this movie. To say this so called film is utterly brainless would be paying it a compliment of the first order. Everyone involved in its making should be tortured to death by having to watch the outtakes. At the very least, they should all be neutered so that they won't have children who will grow up and make execrable disgraces such as this.

I say this after only seeing five minutes of it. After that, I had to turn it off because I lost more neurons in those five minutes than I would have if I spent the rest of my life dropping acid. If I was forced to watch any more of it, I would have had to end my suffering by reaching under the kitchen sink and drinking a Drano cocktail.

It would be a great movie to use to force prisoners into giving confessions in Gitmo.

So, are you curious to find out what it is?

I post the link to here, so others may not have to suffer this insult to humanity.

Believe me, even if you are alone on a desert island somewhere, and there is no other entertainment available, you're better off spending your time masturbating. At least if you do that, you'll feel good.